Friday, January 19, 2018

I Always Wait Until the End to Give Things a Title

I like the informality of this blog. I like that none of us (that I am aware of) are expecting the others to turn out brilliance or to post polished philosophies. I like that this blog allows each of us to write in this stream of consciousness reverberating our readings as though we are each writing in a journal we leave under a park bench.

It forms this interesting level of trust, and yet distance, for myself. It is as though I am simply writing in my moleskin, or more modernly, sketching in unnamed google docs. This is how I do much of my writing and how much of my daily writing comes into being. Planning a certain time of day makes it a chore and constantly waiting for inspiration leads to falling out of writing entirely which I have done and never wish to go back to. Instead, I go about my day as though writing is a secondary process, something which doesn't ever need to happen but may. As I go about my day often something will strike me as poetic, or story worthy, or perhaps I simply find myself reflecting on a moment which has defined me personally. It has been anything from I always pick up my dog's shit but I never pick up my own, to when I was 19 my roommate stabbed me in the hand with a hunting knife, I wonder what it felt like for him? These thoughts collect in scribbles in my google docs where I let them simmer until I cannot resist the smell any longer and must taste the idea again. Some of these ideas never make it past the initial striking thought, whereas others are still growing stronger in my head, siphonophores do not grow like conventional creatures but instead grow continuous versions of themselves which function together only as mouths or eyes or stomachs and then this chain of beings floats along in the depths of the ocean delicately.

 What I am trying to say is that I wait. I write down ideas as they come, but I wait to fully taste them, to see what seasonings they might need.

I find it so important that this first draft be honored and respected by the writer. That when we begin writing a piece, even if it leads nowhere, that we take a second to appreciate ourselves for having the courage to write it. However, this first draft is something which is almost always "bad" writing. Not bad writing in that it has no value, or that it isn't worthy of a second draft, but bad because it lacks the intimacies and intricacies of a polished piece. When I first began writing creatively I hated editing my pieces. It took away the purity of the piece, made it feel academic, deteriorated the initial intent of the piece. Since, I have learned better how to edit, how to better give a piece purpose, and how to better understand what a reader who knows nothing about me or the surrounding situation might perceive. For me, this has immensely improved my creative writing. I think perhaps it allowed me to move closer to the kids staring out the window, and further away from the printing presses of academic machine children. This is not to say I devalue academic writing, it has its time and place, but to say I no longer listen to my heart only when my fingers are pressed against my neck.

Many of the ideas presented in the readings were things I have found myself doing since I gave myself permission to be a writer, however, I had no name for them. They too were simply scribbles, but ones I was writing so furiously I had yet to decipher what they said. I've enjoyed taking a moment to read these passages on pursuit. It is nice to be able to identify more easily the habits I am picking up, to give them names, and to be reassured that they are good habits to be enforcing.

3 comments:

  1. Hi Lukas,
    I'm liking these blogs so far, too. They reflect some of the earnestness and informality of our recent in class discussions, so that's been nice. I take your point here about the importance of "waiting," and this seemed to be exactly what Murray meant when he mentioned the importance of "delay," allowing time "for the seed of an idea to be nurtured in the mind." I don't see anything wrong with this, really, except when it becomes a mechanism for putting off writing again and again. I've become convinced over the years that writing--the physical and cognitive act of putting down words--is an altogether different kind of thinking ( and there is some scholarship to support this idea), so by choosing to not write we short circuit this powerful method of sense-making that just batting stuff around in our heads doesn't do. Goldberg is arguing for daily writing practice that involves writing for the sake of writing--about anything--in the belief that this will generate useful material. "Waiting" is largely eliminated. What do you think about that?

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    1. I suppose I count jotting down these thoughts as daily writing. That by thinking about things linguistically that I am never truly waiting. However, I do not leave these ideas very often in the original form they enter my head in. So I would posit that by recording these ideas in google docs that I am practicing daily writing. However, I do not force a piece of writing to come out. An idea will strike me, I record it, and then I usually leave it. Often times I will begin working on another idea which struck me and has formed more fully in my brain. By recording these thoughts I am engaging in a daily form of writing, even if it's not very well formed or even expressed at that moment. I agree with Goldberg that writing something down, anything, is key in keeping our writing muscles in good shape. I do not think that we should ever force ourselves to write further than what feels right. I think most readers can sense when writing becomes forced and it can become uncomfortable or disenchanting. So write, scribble, process, but never force.

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  2. Lukas,

    I think you make an interesting distinction regarding the fact that you feel like a large part of what makes something bad is it's lacking polish and finesse. I stand on the other side of the line I think, I often find that a piece can be good without being polished, but even the most and polished and finely-honed pieces I've done are ones I would personally consider bad. I think editing and revision does help give a piece purpose, but I think ultimately our engagement with the piece and the outcome of the piece for me is what determines its quality and value.

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