"Words were used to separate and diminish people, not to connect and empower them" (24).
This mindset breeds in isolation. I think pages 23-34 are a powerful exploration of the effects of isolation on development. I had a very isolated childhood - although I was encouraged to communicate and play, I usually was only able to communicate and play with myself, my dogs, and my parents. (I was home schooled until 4th grade.) After I was placed in public school, I rarely had positive associations with learning, similarly to women like Ann and Cindy: "Most had been passed along from one grade to the next, as all those words just slipped past" (33). The isolation I experienced in my earliest stages of childhood later combined with trauma I experienced in my adolescent years, and my skepticism of learning continued to grow. School was hell. I never thought I was smart or good at things. Authority figures sometimes told me I was articulate and precocious and a good writer, but I never felt smart.
Even when I started college I never really felt smart. I felt like an imposter who slipped in because I got lucky. For the first couple years, I learned everything by listening, and I rarely participated in class discussions, like the freshman Rachel (37). The section on "received knowers" on pages 35-51 is super relatable, because I only started transitioning out of this mindset in recent years. My big turning point was around 2014-2015, when I started working at our writing center. I was so insecure I didn't think they would hire me... but they did. This was when I was truly inspired to find my real voice and abilities, think for myself, and trust my own decisions. This was when I finally started taking control of my education, when I realized what I actually care about and what I want to learn. This was when I found the rhetoric program. This was when I found my people.
This is why pages 45-48 are so compelling to me. The idea that received knowers start to become less dependent on others for knowledge when they are "thrust into roles of responsibility for others" (47) is particularly convincing, because I know how true it is personally. My biggest shift in my attitude towards learning happened when I started helping others with their own learning.
"Through listening and responding, they draw out the voices and minds of those they help to raise up. In the process, they often come to hear, value, and strengthen their own voices and minds as well" (48).
My confidence in my writing continues to grow the more I help others with their writing. I know how to do things, and I know how to help other people figure out how to do things. This has helped me in so many ways: I'm happier and more self-assured, and I'm able to see my life more clearly as a developing narrative. I'm in a place where people look to me for advice, and I actually feel qualified to give it. Sometimes I even feel pretty smart!
“Fascinating and eshausting” Oh man, too true! I think your points are particularly insightful and salient; it’s interesting to think you identify with the ideas about how people view their own intelligence. I had a sort of opposite route in my education, I was in public school until my second year of high school, where I went to a charter school and became largely isolated in an academic environment, although I view this as a positive experience. I think because I already had the critical confidence of self-knowing from my formative years, I was able to use the isolation to develop it even further.
ReplyDeleteThe way you could see through the reading into your own life as a knower is really touching, Rebekah. I was especially taken with how you described the role of the WC in your epistemological growth. Over the years, I've seen that again and again. I think you're right that it was is the process of trying to help "other learners" that is so incredibly empowering.
ReplyDeleteHi Rebekah, thanks for your post.
ReplyDeleteTesting Email Notification. I've gone to settings, email, "comment notification email"> added my student email account. Also added student email to "email posts to."
ReplyDeleteSo I'm going to see if I get a notification of my own post. If I do, and if I understand correctly, we can all receive notifications of all new posts if we all add each other's email addresses to our blogger settings.
Testing testing
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