I love Joan Didion, but that doesn't mean I understand her. At the risk of losing face, I admit, but still have the self-respect to do so, ha. There are moments in my weeks where I let my fears and insecurities fudge with my self-respect, but I always find it again. Misplaced versus lost self respect, didion wasn't elected to Phi Beta Kappa and this was a pivot point, felt like she lost her innocence lights wouldn't magically turn green for her etc. innocent and simple virtues of self of childhood had been lost or now those weren't alone going to cut it anymore. Real self-respect, true self respect isn't a given, we need to earn it for ourselves as adults, as part of coming of age, and no longer really has to do with the approval of others, but rather self-approval.You can't fake it until you make it, you can't fake for long. A day or two perhaps, but eventually you're found out.
We need courage to endure and accept possible risk, and if we don't risk, we risk losing the ability to keep moving forward. If we have self-respect we will take risks, as not much can be gained otherwise. Behave, act, move, and commit every detail to fulfilling the human element, the self beliefs and steer clear of the snake in the grass of garden who wishes to lead us astray. I view every day as risky, getting out of bed, every word I write and each email I send. Its risky. If we respect ourselves we don't wallow in the bed of regret. People with self-respect have the courage to live with their mistakes past and move forward unabated or hindered from past slights of self or other. New discipline, self-acknowledgement, grabbing the bootstraps and all. Its good to look back every once in a while, but only to ascertain whether you're on the higher road than that of before. Be true to self, and not about something only for the sake of others or a radical idea. Hold fast in your true beliefs and keep walking up the mountain, not down, shun weakness and the sun will shine upon thee.
Hi Jeff,
ReplyDeleteI really like the idea that self-respect is a pre-condition to taking risks. I think that's true, and yet I think there were times in my life when I secretly felt very little of myself, and out of desperation I did risky things--moving to faraway places, getting involved in troublesome relationships, switching jobs. As I look back on this, I think I was hoping that external changes would make me feel better about myself. I should have known better. Moving a thousand miles won't fix anything when it's the stuff inside that's broken.
Hi Dr. B, well said. I suppose we're all a bit reckless when we're younger - and if not, it will come at some piont. I'm still adjusting to aspects of adulthood, personally. It is interesting to think about the things we would tell our xx-year-old selves if we could. One thing I've learned about relationships is that you have to love yourself before you can effectively love others.
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